Logical Fail: Sex Should Be a Practical Issue?
So what's the difference between acting 'practically' and acting 'morally'? Really nothing
Does a mother really equip her daughters with the power of knowledge if she teaches them it's practical to succumb to lowly instincts? Does teaching them about birth control rather than intimacy and marriage spare them of any internal conflict of conscience?
The author describes how she was raised by religious parents and a father that scared off boys while cleaning his gun, how she fell in love in college and "relinquished" her virginity unexpectedly on Cheez-It crumbs behind a couch in an off-campus apartment while "roommates farted and belched like cannon-fire in adjacent rooms," how she began taking birth control pills and used them for the next five years as a "serial monogamist," how after she had her heart broken and broke a few herself she decided to take a "leave of absence" and become abstinent, how a broken-hearted young man still pursued her with roses, poetry, and silly declarations of love, how she got pregnant and to her relief miscarried so she was "spared, making a choice" that might "haunt" her for the rest of her life, and finally how some ten years later she gave birth to two daughters with her husband "at just the right time, with exactly the right partner."
What does she credit for things working out well? Birth control, because abstinence got her pregnant.
Her point is this: "...sex should NOT BE a MORAL ISSUE, it should be a PRACTICAL ISSUE." [Emphasis hers.]
She plans to take her daughters to Planned Parenthood when they are in high school because although she hopes "they will only give themselves to men who cherish them" she believes it is better to be "practical" and dispense with any "moral imperatives" so they won't ever experience shame or blame. She concludes, "Knowledge is power."
Take a deep breath, relax your face muscles, and let's examine the logic of this statement because this is a serious issue that needs to be clarified. I once thought this way too, until I realized 1) everyone needs a moral code, and 2) words mean things.
We need definitions. We have to know what we are talking about. The word "practical" is derived from the Latin practicalis and it relates to practice or action. The word "moral" stems from môrâlis and is concerned with ethics. Animals merely act without any rational consideration; but humans can act thoughtfully, can reason about morality, and don't have to be slaves to base appetites. I know - it's countercultural, but let it sink in. It's the truth.
There's a word that has become rather distorted, and it relates to choosing actions based on knowledge. That word is "conscience" from cum alio scientia, with other knowledge, science from experiment, and it begins with the individual. A rational being (i.e. a person) has the ability to use
reason and act in a conscionable way. By an active power of the soul, we use our intellect to gain knowledge, and it, admittedly, can be difficult. A properly formed conscience is not the work of a lazy intellect.
So what's the difference between acting "practically" and acting "morally"? Really nothing, except the former is repetitious, and the latter implies a need for deeper thought and introspection. Someone may say, "Well, acting practically means to make good choices without appealing to harsh judgment." That, however, is a travesty to logic. To know what is good, one must judge, so the issue is still a moral issue, just without using that Big Scary Word. And without guidance you end up saying something silly like, "Birth control is the responsible thing to do when you aren't going to be responsible in the first place." Logical fail.
This confusion stems, in part, from the use of the word "sex." Let's examine that word. It comes from the Latin word secus which refers to the state of being male or female, sexual organs. The union of two bodies is sometimes called intercourse, but if we're talking about people instead of animals, we need a word that represents the union of both body and soul. "Intimacy" from the Latin intimus refers to the inmost, deep-seated, inner nature, that thing between a man and woman that is the deepest union, not isolated to a physical act. It encompasses - is the very wellspring - of the entire union and relationship.
Intimacy is uniquely human. Animals have intercourse to procreate; ...
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I agree: Humans must think. But thinking is not really the problem. The problem lies predominantly in that which is being thought. Our thinking caps are a bit askew.
Seriously. Once again, a slanted little journalistic jaunt which places upon the female members of the Church, namely that of mothers, responsibility for all things amiss among the faithful regarding sexuality.
Rarely if ever, is male role modeling of any significant chatter or discourse. Male responsibility in the role of the Church and of the Family is mainly that of breadwinner, rule maker, and an obscure role as parent and husband.
SEX.
We are programmed (men & women) to think, when we see/hear the word "sex", Women.
Why? Ponder this for a moment, if you will.
Yes. Planned Parenthood & public education systems will not teach girls that modesty is a good thing. That abstinence is prudent. But each of these will instruct both boys and girls, that abstinence is the best way to prevent unwanted babies, STD's (sexually transmitted diseases).
I think that it is long overdue that fathers AND mothers have the sex-sit-down talk with their children, together. With all their children, regardless of gender. They make them together, they should rear them together. It is NOT inappropriate for a father to talk to their daughters about sex, nor a mother, her son. Just because it makes mom & dad uncomfortable, it should be realized that the conversation isn't about them or for them...but the prudent instruction of their children. Which is their responsibility. Both of them.
Are we that afraid or weak or inept as parishioners, laymen & laywomen, the Body of Christ, leaders, teachers and instructors, we are unable to conduct ourselves properly?
An Islamic Moroccan 16 year old girl killed herself recently, after she was raped. The court ordered her to marry her rapist. She couldn't take it.
We may not be guilty of such a crime as this. But when God's daughters are so violated because men of faith...any faith...have not been taught to constrain themselves, and shoulder responsibility for their own behavior, and teach their children to do the same, we have no justification for wrinkling our noses in misguided self-righteousness.
May Jesus have mercy on our souls.
Sexuality has moral and practical choices,but more than that,sex is a unitive bonding between one man and one woman and the 2 become 1 with each other,that is why sex should be treated as a sacred bonding and not some form of sport or recreation. That bonding between men and women is sacred especially for the children that are the resulting evidence of that unique bond.
Thank you so much for such a beautiful article. I fear I was never able to impart this knowledge to my own daughters, but I will be forwarding the article to them now. Perhaps they will be more capable with their own daughters.
Thank you so much for such a beautiful article. I fear I was never able to impart this knowledge to my own daughters, but I will be forwarding the article to them now. Perhaps they will be more capable with their own daughters.
You are a beautiful, insightful and wise woman! And your article isn't bad either... :)